Melon Cauli Flower

Do you ever feel like your friends are constantly flaunting something that you don't have, but you can't put your finger on quite what it is?

I don't think I understand it but I think this idea describes better than anything else something that I've been feeling for a long time. I often just feel like I've never really found the place I totally belong.

I really want to find that place.

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Somewhere amongst the dance of the stars

And the rising sun

Lies the mystery that is within me

Someplace between the breaking of waves

And the edge of the earth

Are the locks where I am the key

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Yet another melancholy blog post... I'm hoping this doesn't become a habit! Sorry!

Alone

For starters, I apologize, this post will be a bit sad...
But sometimes that's how life is. (Just don't read it if you're feeling down already)

Sometimes I just feel so alone, I have friends, I have fun,
I come home, I put on my music, I watch movies, I talk with my family.

But then, I feel alone.

Alone is one of the most crippling emotions.

If God said "It is not good for man to be alone" then why are we left alone?

Why does our society of noise not fill the emptiness of the silence?

Why is quiet so unsettling and depressing?

Why must we surround ourselves with people who don't actually care?

Why don't WE care?

What have we come to?

When did we forget love?

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

When the leaves fall...

... it's not over - everything is just waiting for the spring.

This morning I went back to bed after church, and I read this book, and I felt alive. The book tells of Julia De Smit, an ordinary girl; broken, hurting, seeking, longing, messed up and lost. She's reinventing herself, to prove that she is more than just the product of her past. She's trying to find out who she is... and making mistakes along the way.

It's a story I could really identify with and it was refreshing to read a book that didn't give any easy answers. Julia wrestles, struggles, fails and eventually finds the only one who gives us love unfailing. Sensitively written, honest and reflective; it moved me.

The most beautiful part of the book for me was in the final chapter, she finally comes to a realization of who she is, defining her life with "I am... " statements, finally settling on "I am a new creation."
It inspired me to define myself...

I am...

I am a daughter, a sister and a friend.
I am a teacher in the making.
I am a lover of life.
I am a bookworm, a muser.
I am a seeker and a finder.
I am a wildflower on a roadside.
I live in the now but not yet, embracing the tension.
I am in the making...

I am a new creation.

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Now playing: Simon & Garfunkel - Blues Run the Game
via FoxyTunes

A gem from urbandictionary.com

While a deeper post is in the works... I bring you this gem.

attention spam

A condition resulting in a failure to process basic facts or comprehend common knowledge, due largely to having a mind full of useless information.

eg. Kali's numerous typos were a result of her suffering from attention spam.

Otherwise known as "Liz every single day" especially after aikido - when I have epic failing at even sweeping the floor. Brilliant

Nothing to say, but lots to think about.

What I will say, is that I updated my musicness list :D

Loving Stu Larsen. Gorgeous talent.

Things that I love about people..

So to carry on from my previous rather negative post.

I thought I'd post to you some happiness.

These are some things that I totally love about people:

- I love how you can have personal jokes with someone, even though you're only just getting to know them

- I love people who appreciate the importance and 'weight' of music, and you can tell

- I love people who can be themselves, wherever they are, once you know them, you then know that you know them.

- People who don't shy away from struggle/dichotomy/tension.

- People who 'get' other people

- Verbal diorrhea people.. say what they think. Always sincere.

- People who make an effort

- People who let you journey alongside them

- People who understand the way the world is interlinked, and don't want to fit it all into boxes.

- When you can tell someone is awestruck.

- Not afraid to laugh or cry alongside someone else.

- People who you can talk about anything with and not feel awkward

- Randomness

Pet Peeves Ahora (Currently)

So I don't have any pets.
Except my horse.

And all the peeves that I keep under my bed.

So every know and then i bring them out and play with them... thought I might bring you into this wonderful experience today. So I hope that you enjoy meeting my peeves, give them a pat, they won't bite.

NB - My Peeves tend to be not so much hates. More irritants. And they apply just as much to myself as to other people (often more!)

Peeves pertaining to people:

- Meddling and gossiping, especially when it interferes with friendships and personal issues.

- People who are really down on themselves.

- People who dish out heaps of hassling, and then can't actually deal with it themselves. This includes the people who don't actually let anyone know they can't deal with it, but just go home and have a cry about it.

- When friendships change dynamic for no real reason, or for a stupid reason.

- People who don't make an effort to understand other people.

- People who don't notice when others are getting upset.


Pet Peeves Pertaining Particularly to myself:

- My lack of self control

- The ways that I disappoint myself and don't live up to my standards.

- When I get carried away

- The lack of innocence in my mind, and the way that this comes out my mouth.


So you know.. just a few things.


They keep me company on long, cold and lonely nights.