Sunday, March 29, 2009

it was I

it was I
who dragged her, objecting in despair
to your feet, you to deal to her
it was I
full of pride, watched you stoop down

scratch some words in the ground
a challenge laid bare
it was I
the first to leave
eyes rimmed with tears

it was I
strolled up, self-assured yet unaware
to you great rabbi, for your counsel,
on what one should do to acquire the thing
for which I still had need

it was I
walked away, not to leave that which lay
‘neath the earth in short while
your good gift I betrayed

it was I
faced with crowds writhing, irate
washed my hands of your fate
let them all get their way

it was I
‘spite best intentions resolved to sit down, to wait
watched you lead away...

...still worse...
it was I
who laughed, spat and jeered
and when you were whipped

it was I
who cheered


E Read. (C)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Friendship is...

I was thinking on my way home from uni yesterday about what friendship is, and so many of the metaphors that I used to think of just came up so short. I kept thinking 'an investment' but it seems just horrid to think of friendship as something that happens in a bank! There are elements of this idea that are true, but anyone who starts a friendship solely for what they will gain from it, will cause themselves (and their friends) great pain.

So without a metaphor, I settle for just writing...



Friendship is going on a journey without a destination in mind, and savouring every moment

Friendship is 'doing life' next to each other, for each other, with each other

Friendship is in the 'I just need a hug' moments

Friendship is the point where you like the other person more than you like yourself (and especially because they like you even still...)

Friendship is being broken together

Friendship feeds on words, silent or shared

Friendship is letting someone tell you their story by living their life

Friendship is letting someone in, to the world behind your eyes

Friendship is letting someone look for the beauty in yourself that you cannot see

Friendship comes with shared hope, and vision for the future

Friendship holds the light up for the other

Friendship shares the heart

Friendship...

Friday, March 20, 2009

6 word memoir

Came across this: Six Word Memoir at one of the blogs that I follow... I thought it was pretty profound so decided to write my own.

Finding love, finding life in Him.

or perhaps

Clay Pot; God's strength in weakness.




Monday, March 9, 2009

A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall

A lecturer got us to read this song today... so powerful.

A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall

Oh, where have you been, my blue-eyed son?
Oh, where have you been, my darling young one?
I've stumbled on the side of twelve misty mountains,
I've walked and I've crawled on six crooked highways,
I've stepped in the middle of seven sad forests,
I've been out in front of a dozen dead oceans,
I've been ten thousand miles in the mouth of a graveyard,
And it's a hard, and it's a hard, it's a hard, and it's a hard,
And it's a hard rain's a-gonna fall.

Oh, what did you see, my blue-eyed son?
Oh, what did you see, my darling young one?
I saw a newborn baby with wild wolves all around it
I saw a highway of diamonds with nobody on it,
I saw a black branch with blood that kept drippin',
I saw a room full of men with their hammers a-bleedin',
I saw a white ladder all covered with water,
I saw ten thousand talkers whose tongues were all broken,
I saw guns and sharp swords in the hands of young children,
And it's a hard, and it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard,
And it's a hard rain's a-gonna fall.

And what did you hear, my blue-eyed son?
And what did you hear, my darling young one?
I heard the sound of a thunder, it roared out a warnin',
Heard the roar of a wave that could drown the whole world,
Heard one hundred drummers whose hands were a-blazin',
Heard ten thousand whisperin' and nobody listenin',
Heard one person starve, I heard many people laughin',
Heard the song of a poet who died in the gutter,
Heard the sound of a clown who cried in the alley,
And it's a hard, and it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard,
And it's a hard rain's a-gonna fall.

Oh, who did you meet, my blue-eyed son?
Who did you meet, my darling young one?
I met a young child beside a dead pony,
I met a white man who walked a black dog,
I met a young woman whose body was burning,
I met a young girl, she gave me a rainbow,
I met one man who was wounded in love,
I met another man who was wounded with hatred,
And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard,
It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall.

Oh, what'll you do now, my blue-eyed son?
Oh, what'll you do now, my darling young one?
I'm a-goin' back out 'fore the rain starts a-fallin',
I'll walk to the depths of the deepest black forest,
Where the people are many and their hands are all empty,
Where the pellets of poison are flooding their waters,
Where the home in the valley meets the damp dirty prison,
Where the executioner's face is always well hidden,
Where hunger is ugly, where souls are forgotten,
Where black is the color, where none is the number,
And I'll tell it and think it and speak it and breathe it,
And reflect it from the mountain so all souls can see it,
Then I'll stand on the ocean until I start sinkin',
But I'll know my song well before I start singin',
And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard,
It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall.


Bob Dylan

"I'll know my song well before I start singing well"

This line challenges me so much...

What is my song? When will I know it well enough to start singing it?

Sunday, March 8, 2009

and...

Read these two blog posts:


"Who Cares"

"Stuff Christians Like: Confessing Safe Sins"

Empathy..

"Empathy is underrated
But I wish I could feel what you feel"
Brian Platt - Gravity (one of my favourite songs at the moment, despite my dislike of 'Platt-man' )

I'm sure I've posted on this before... perhaps I have new insight, perhaps not.

Lately, I think I've become slightly 'seared' emotionally, you know like when you burn your tongue, you can't taste properly anymore, but you still sort of can.
I wonder if that's what my heart (or wherever you store your emotions) is a bit like...
So very often I get to a point where I can not open my heart to anymore stress/anguish of other people, so I cease to become emotionally involved with the situation.

I think what makes it worse, is that I don't act any different, but I know inside that I'm different towards the situation.
I still do 'What I'm supposed to do', be there, talk to them, give them a hug, and whatever .... but inside I just don't Care.

What is caring anyway? Is it doing what you can to support the person? (despite emotional detachment)
Or walking around with their burdens weighing on your heart?
Letting them drag you down, and turn you around in circles? Isn't that true caring!?!

And the terrible thing is, I can still have a heart open to positive emotions, while shutting down the empathetic part :( And that makes me feel even worse.

But.. sometimes it hits you, God just breaks your heart over something....
Several years ago at Xtend, I had a heart-break experience... God just broke my heart over the hurt, lost people in the world who are suffering from poverty, from the rest of the world looking the other way. I actually felt physical heart pain, and was bawling for hours... Not sure that I've quite reacted how I should have... but I do think that my mindset has changed.

I need God to fill me up again with his love, compassion, mercy and empathy.
I know he can... and he's the only one.



Sunday, March 1, 2009

A Beautiful Mess

What a beautiful mess, this is...

Just listened to a beautiful song by Jason Mraz called "Beautiful Mess".

Although it's talking specifically about a relationship... I think the truth of this song applies much broader:

"But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt
Cause here, here we are
Here we are"

Life is a dirty process... it scars, it maims, it burns, hurts, abuses sometimes even ruins...

But it's something we get to do together, next to each other, with each other and for each other.

Sometimes the flaws are what reveals true beauty.


Not sure about you guys, but when I meet someone who seems perfect, it just scares me! What's even scarier is when they still seem perfect once you've known them for years...

I think there's something beautiful about the fact that we're all flawed.

Once you come to acknowledge that, and see the beauty past, even within people's flaws, it's just priceless.

I dunno if I'm anywhere close, but sometimes, you just catch a glimpse of redemption, of the kingdom on earth. Spectacular!