I plead guilty

Any of you who actually know me in real life, will know that from time to time (or possibly fairly frequently) I explode.

And I mean REALLY explode.

The sort of explosion that you don't even know is coming. And then all of a sudden WHAM! it hits you, scaring the living daylights from any children in the room, and the dead daylights from all of the adults.

It's the sort of explosion that makes you look across the mall in that direction, in shock.

You never quite look at me quite the same again, once you've experienced one of these explosions.

The sort of explosion that makes Sam's ears bleed.



ACHOO!!


Yes folks, that's right, I am speaking of my sneeze.

So let me break it down for you:

1. Past:

As a child, I will always remember my father's sneezes. There were many traumatic days where his sneeze shook the house, rattling the windows, and making me cower under my bed.

Once I had recovered from the shock I would venture timidly into the hall, possibly even tip-toeing, searching for my father. "You sneezed again daddy!" I would comment rather sheepishly (maaa). "Can't you do something about your sneeze Daddy? It's sooo scary!".

My Dad would reply " I used to say that to my father too, and then one day, ACHOO!, I had inherited my father's sneezes."

'Likely Story!' I would think to myself, still recovering from the shock. "Aha" would be all I would say outloud.

2. Present:

One day, it hit me. Just as my father said it did for him. My sneeze attracted strange looks and stares.

From that day forth, I have suffered the social consequences of an explosive sneeze.

• People are constantly talking about it.
• I get the strangest looks when I am out in public.
• From time to time it has even caused me injury
• Strangers (particularly Sam) are always trying to advise me on the controlling of my sneeze. Now I know what it feels like for parents of unruly children, to be told how to control them all the time. Especially by strange men with beanies and beards.
• Shun! SHUUUUN! (is what people scream when i sneeze)
• Apparently I cause ear bleeds.
• I've almost given people heart attacks.

3. Future:

Anyone want to pray for my healing?